How to Respond to an Unsupportive Partner

 

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What role does the man play? There are lots of different ways in which he could be involved -from NEVER to COMPLETE SHARED RESPONSIBILITY. This will depend on your relationship with him.

Only you know about your story and how much and in what way you want him involved. Here are just a few ideas to help you think further about how to respond to the man involved if he isn’t being helpful.

We use the term man involved because it isn’t always a boyfriend or a friend, sadly, the man involved could be a stranger or someone engaging in sex without consent.

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Tuesday, July 22, 2014

There is no legal right that allows the man involved in the pregnancy to either prevent a pregnant woman seeking an abortion from accessing one, or to force her to have one.

So ultimately this is your choice.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

If you DO get along- it can be helpful to hear what he has to say.

 

Things to think about:

  • Whether you want him to be involved?
  • What would happen if he wasn’t involved – would that change your decision?
  • If your relationship changes – would your decision be affected?
  • What ability does he have to support you in your decision?
  • What ability does he have to support you after your decision?
  • Have you had any conversations about having children together before this pregnancy?
  • Were or are you in an ongoing relationship with him?
  • Be clear about what you want from him.
  • Find a way of communicating that works best for you (face to face, email, with a friend, text)
  • Keep conversations on topic. Don’t bring up old arguments.
  • Model the behaviour you want. If you want him to appreciate you, find things that you appreciate in him. Even if they are tiny, thank him for them. People are more giving when they aren’t angry.
  • Be realistic – can he give you what you are wanting?

 

If you DONT get along– it can be really hard to manage someone who you don’t get along with.

 

Things to think about:

  • Whether you want him to be involved?
  • Had you had any conversations about having children together before this pregnancy?
  • Were or are you in an ongoing relationship with him?
  • Be clear about what you want from him?
  • Find a way of communicating that works best for you (face to face, email, with a friend, text)
  • Keep conversations on topic. Don’t bring up old arguments.
  • Model the behaviour you want. If you want him to appreciate you, find things that you appreciate in him. Even if they are tiny, thank him for them. People are more giving when they aren’t angry.
  • Be realistic – can he give you what you are wanting?

Remember you can take on board his opinions, but ultimately it is your choice. Remember, his job in this is to support you!

For more information, click Children by Choice's "For Men" page.

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Thursday, August 17, 2017

What is sexual assault?

 Sexual assault is when a person is forced into sexual acts against their will or without their permission.

This is a crime and never the victim’s fault!!

 

What now?

If you think that your pregnancy is a result of a sexual assault YOU HAVE RIGHTS!

If you feel able – here are a number of places that can help you work through this.

Or call Children by Choice and our counsellors can talk you through any actions you may wish to make from here.

 

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014